Have you ever noticed how sometimes life can throw you a curve ball that completely derails you, that sends everything into perspective and gets you questioning your choices and what’s important to you? This happened to me recently and it has really got me thinking differently and I wanted to share this experience with you as I feel it’s a good life lesson for us all! Read on and see if my story resonates with you or if there are any lessons you can take away.
Life has a way of sweeping us up in its current a bit like the ebb and flow of the ocean – responsibilities, obligations, the endless to-do lists that pile up – it feels like life is somehow controlling us rather than the other way around? We tell ourselves we’ll get around to doing the things we love, spending time with the people who light us up, and prioritising our own wellbeing… one day. But what if that ‘one day’ never comes?
Recently, I lost a very dear friend after a short battle with cancer, and it has shaken me to my core. I thought we had more time and promised myself I’d get to see her – she lives on the other side of the UK so it would mean rescheduling my work and other commitments – but I promised myself I’d do it, but time had other plans. Her passing has reminded me of just how fragile and fleeing life can be and that we need to cherish its preciousness. It’s made me realise how often we let the demands of our everyday lives get in the way of truly living. We spend time doing the shopping, worrying about our bills, running around after our kids, working all hours or scrolling mindlessly on social media, because that’s what life has become. But let me tell you, when you experience a shock to the system, you start to realise that isn’t what life is all about and that you’ve let life get in the way of living and experiencing its wonder. This whole experience has reinforced something I think we all know deep down – what truly matters in life is joy, connection, and love.
The Power of Connection and Wellbeing
When we think about self-care, particularly as we navigate menopause, we often focus on the physical aspects – nutrition, exercise, sleep. And while these are crucial, there is another dimension of self-care that is just as important: connection. I talk about this a lot as it’s one of my Five Menopause Life Savers – more on that another time…
Positive psychology teaches us that our wellbeing is deeply influenced by the people around us. Human connection fuels positive emotions, from laughter with a dear friend to the quiet comfort of simply being with someone who understands us – we are social animals after all and designed to make connections for our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing. The warmth of shared experiences, the support of those who uplift us are the things that make our lives meaningful.
During menopause, connection with others becomes even more important, especially as we can feel we’ve lost the connection to ourselves. Connection reminds us that we’re not alone, that we’re valued, loved and seen and that we still have so much joy and life to experience. Whether it’s picking up the phone to check in with an old friend, joining a community that nurtures us, or simply making time to sit and talk with someone who fills our cup, these moments of connection help anchor us to the beauty of life.
Living with Intention
Losing my friend has taught me that we must be intentional about how we live. We cannot wait for the perfect time to start prioritising joy. We cannot keep putting off the things that make our hearts sing. We must make space for the things and people that truly matter.
So, I ask you, right now – what are five things you can commit to doing to ensure that life doesn’t get in the way of your living?
- Who do you need to reconnect with?
- What activity have you been meaning to start (or restart) that brings you joy?
- How can you create more space for self-care in your daily life?
- What small moments can you savour more deeply?
- How will you remind yourself to prioritise happiness, not just productivity?
Here are my commitments that I’m happy to share with you – sharing means accountability and I need you to hold me to account so I don’t slip back into my old ways.
- I am going to reconnect with some of my friends where I’ve let time pass by – I will call them, make time to listen to them talk and spend time with them. If I need to use my Trello board or other tools to make sure this isn’t a one-off activity, then that’s what I’ll do.
- I am going to make time for me, whether that’s getting back to the swimming pool or treating myself to spa day or a regular gong bath.
- I am going to hold my boundaries and make sure my work doesn’t take over – sometimes that’s a challenge as an entrepreneur but I will make my three-day working week a non-negotiable and, on my days off, I’ll fill it with friends and laughter.
- I’ll cherish the time I spend with my husband just being comfortable. I can take these moments for granted but losing my friend, has shown that we can never do this. Every moment we spend with someone we love, is precious.
- I’ll pick up my journal again and practice gratitude to remind myself of how happiness feels and that taking time to savour these moments will make me feel better and ultimately be more productive at whatever I am doing.
I encourage you to take a moment, write these down, and commit to them – I’m happy to hold you to account too.
Life is happening now. Let’s not wait any longer to truly live it.