How to have a better experience of menopause?

Welcome to my September blog and I thought I’d reflect on our individual experiences of menopause and how much these vary from woman to woman.
If you are just visiting our blogs for the first time, then I am delighted to have you join us and hope you find something in our discussion that resonates and helps you.
I know, and tell my clients all the time, that there isn’t one experience of menopause or a “normal” journey through menopause. Why is this? We are all different and all unique. This is part of the reason why it can seem quite hard to get the right support when you need it. Our health system works on the law of averages and caters accordingly. This isn’t wrong, it just means that if your experience sits outside that “normal” you may find it difficult to get heard and supported. I know that as menopause experts we talk about the average age at which a woman will experience menopause – that’s around 50-52 years of age. I know from my own experience talking to women from all around the world, that this doesn’t necessarily ring true anymore. I am hearing more women starting to see the signs of menopause at a much younger age – one of my clients was 39 and another 42, and let’s not forget the lovely Val who joined my podcast to share her experience of menopause at age 36! So, getting the support we need can feel like an uphill battle.

Then of course, not every woman has a “standard” experience of menopause.
We read and hear so much about all the negative and difficult experiences, but don’t get me wrong, for many women (me included) menopause can be hard and feel like it’s never going to end or get better! However, I have met a couple of women recently who’ve joined my courses and retreats simply because they say “they don’t know if they are in menopause or not”! This sounds strange as you’d think you would know but that isn’t necessarily the case. If you have a hysterectomy for instance, you will skip perimenopause and go straight to menopause and that can bring the usual symptoms but also may not; or you may be using contraceptives such as a IUD or an implant that means you’ve not had a period for sometime or have had a “false” bleed, plus these devices can mask hormonal fluctuations. Then there are those lucky ladies who experience little or no symptoms of menopause so the whole experience passes them by. I met one lady recently who had experienced so many period issues in her younger years that she didn’t notice any changes in her cycle until her periods ceased completely at menopause.

So, for all these reasons it makes it so difficult for women to get the support they need as the old one-size fits all approach just doesn’t serve them. Remember if your GP says you’re too young to be menopausal, and yet you know you are seeing the tell-tale signs, don’t be ignored, make sure you get heard. But there is still more we can do ourselves to help us to have a better menopause experience.

What do I mean by “energetically matching your desire”? This can be a hard concept to grasp and recently I asked the ladies in my private Facebook group whether they thought they were energetically matched to their menopause experience – some got it but many did not 😊 Let me tell you a story about how I came across this phrase and started reflecting on the impact of my energy on my own journey.
I am an avid consumer of podcasts – I find them so uplifting and there’s nothing better than getting out for a walk with my favourite podcast for company. One of the ones I dip into regularly is by @jessicasol (find her on Instagram). Jessica Sol is an embodiment coach and mentor from Australia and her podcast is amazing. Well, she was talking about being energetically matched to your desire. She talked about how many times her clients complain that things just aren’t going well or what they wanted to achieve just didn’t happen for them. There are many reasons for this but the biggest is their energy and internal dialogue wasn’t matched to the desire they sought.
I took this on board in my own business and after much reflection realised, I had not been energetically matched to my business desires – I hadn’t sold any places on my next course and was getting more and more frustrated and desperate by this. During my mediation I realised the reason was quite simply that my thoughts were all negative, telling me that I couldn’t succeed. I knew this wasn’t true and so I did the internal work to stop my negative thoughts in their tracks – every time a doubting thought entered my mind, I practiced the Stop Think Again method that I teach my clients and changed the thought. Almost instantly my energy changed. I became more lively, happier, optimistic and positive. I felt like I’d lifted the lid on my energy and dumped that negative weight elsewhere. The outcome – one course sold out straight away and another almost sold out! You see it works.

How can you apply this to menopause?
Change the negative, low energy thought into a positive, high energy one. Match your thoughts to the experience you want to have rather than to the one you have been told you’re likely to have. Believe your experience can be different, and I guarantee it will be. Here are some tips