Goals – Why have them at all?

So why set such a stretching goal?
Again a simple answer for me that doesn’t take much explaining, I want to have an impact and make a difference to the lives of women and especially those women entering or already in menopause. Some would say this is my purpose, that thing that gives my life meaning and they wouldn’t be far off; but more than that it is about doing something worthwhile, adding value and feeling like I can make a difference.

Where do I start?
Well first I set the goal and I’ve been doing a lot of work around that with my own coach. Last year, looking back, I don’t think I was as business-like as I wanted to be and I didn’t really set any goals for myself other than I wanted to set up my own business. I did that but I had nothing to measure myself against to see if I was making an impact or making a success. I’ve thought about this a lot and I recognise my lack of goals left me feeling a little bit of a “fraud”, like I was “playing at being a business woman”. I let the thoughts of others matter to me, for instance, when my mother referred to my “little business” it made me realise that she was perhaps not taking me seriously. Where did that come from? Me of course as I realised I wasn’t taking myself seriously. The way I reacted to those comments made me realise she was simply projecting back what my unconscious words and behaviours were saying about my view of my business. I had no goals, no business plan, no launch strategy and really no idea of what I wanted to achieve in my first year, so how could I really say I was a business-woman, and why would anyone else take me seriously!

What’s different for 2022?
I’ve started 2022 in a very different mind-set and headspace. I’ve set stretching goals for myself; I have plans and OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) for each quarter of 2022 so I know I can achieve what I set out to do; I’ve mapped out my course programme for the entire year so I know when my next Retreat and next Mastermind will be launching, and I know what content I want to work on and when that needs to be shared. So you see I am much more focused and business-like in my approach and that matters to me. I am feeling a new sense of focus and commitment plus renewed energy too.

Why am I telling you this story?
Because, having goals in life matters! Goals are super important at every stage of our lives, but more so as we approach menopause and beyond. We start to think about what our lives might hold and where, in the past menopause may have meant we were aging and perhaps looking to rein back on our plans, it doesn’t mean that now. When we come out of menopause we could have 40-50 years more of life to live, and so it’s important for us to think and plan for how we want that future to be and feel. Who wants to live the next 40 years of their life without a plan, without any idea of where they want to go? I know I don’t and so I am very much in the life plan and goal setting mode.

What are the point of goals?
I set goals to measure my success, to challenge me to be better and go further, to help me to grow and learn and most of all to help me to have the best possible life I can. So my goals aren’t just for my business. I have set personal health and wellbeing goals too – I cannot succeed in my business unless my health and wellbeing is in the right place, and that cannot be in the right place unless my business has meaning for me and brings me a sense of worth and accomplishment. You see the two are closely linked with one feeding positivity from the other.

My Top Tips for You
My passing advice to you is, to get out there and set your goals for the year – it’s never too late to start, but it can be daunting so here are some of my top tips for setting and achieving your goals:

• Set a challenging goal for what you want to achieve and attach some emotions and feelings to that goal. Your emotions and feelings are much stronger motivators than the material end goal.
• If your challenging goal seems too much, don’t change it, accept what you are feeling but focus on how you want to feel at the end of the year. Would you rather experience a little sense of disappointment because you didn’t quite meet your challenging goal but had tried hard to do so, or mild satisfaction knowing you hadn’t had to push yourself too much to meet your mediocre goal? I would suggest the former is more uplifting.
• Break your goal down into manageable pieces and focus on the actions and mind-set you need to bring with you every day to achieve those smaller goals. Small steps build one on the other to make up your big goal.
• Celebrate every success along the way to help you stay positive – focus on the feelings that you experience when you succeed.
• Celebrate your failures, for in failing you have learnt something new for next time. When something goes wrong it doesn’t mean you stop and give up. It is an opportunity to do something different next time and keep moving forward.
• Review your plans and your goals regularly to make sure that what you are doing is moving you closer to your goal with every step you take, and if it isn’t or the goal feels out of alignment, which it might, make the changes you need to succeed.
• Remember, sometimes we cannot do it alone and neither should we try, so surround yourself with your most fervent cheerleaders and ask for help when you need to. There’s no failure or shame in asking for help, it makes you stronger because you’ve acknowledged your can’t do it alone.
• Most of all enjoy your journey towards your goal – sometimes the journey is where the magic happens rather than when we reach our goal.

More support
If you’d like more support with setting goals or life planning, take a look at the Phoenix Wellness Podcast episode “To Life Plan or Not to Life Plan”.